Silence

I'm sorry I haven't written for a while. To be honest, I had been pretty down lately and feeling really far away from the Lord. It seems like when I pray there's nothing...no answer, nothing. Just silence. Sunday the pastor preached on Psalms 13. I'd like to share with you a bit of what God reminded me through this sermon.

Psalms 13
¹ How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

⁴ my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Like David, I wondered how long God would be silent in the specific prayers I've been praying. Why was He ignoring me? Have you ever felt that way? That your prayers just bounced off a short ceiling? In verse 4 David talks about real life, physical enemies. Maybe for you and me it's not so much enemies in person form (though it very well could be) but enemies in the form of anger, depression, unbelief, worry, doubt, fear. In our weakness and despair our enemies shout out "I have overcome you!!!"

The past couple of weeks I've felt like I've been in a fog of uncertainty and fear. But I love what David says in verses 5 and 6. He remembers how God has never ever stopped loving him. He rejoices in that love and remembers how God has been good to him in the past.

In times like this it isn't so much that prayers are being ignored or that God has moved away. Often it comes back to me. I get too wrapped up in life and push Jesus a little farther down the ladder. He hasn't moved, it's me that has moved HIM. He's never, ever failed me. Not even once. When I don't think He's listening and all I get is silence, it's a reminder that He IS listening, He's just working behind the scenes on His plan for my life. When He's silent, it gives me an opportunity to listen even harder for that still, small voice.