Remembering

October 15th is Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. It is 4 days before I would have given birth to Grace if she had lived. Please remember those who have lost children. Chances are, they are still grieving, like me.



Love,
Sarah

Hibernating

Yeah, so I guess you've noticed that I haven't been here in blogworld in a while...must seem like I've been hibernating or something. lol

Things have been just so busy. I can't keep up with it all. 4 blogs, trying to start a business, reading the Twilight series...more about that later ;) ...spending time with family, taking care of the house...etc. It leaves very little time for anything non essential like blogging. What??!!?! Blogging is nonessential!?!??! Hee hee. You say that like it's not true. Seriously though, I've been trying to cut my internet time to spend time in the REAL world. Not that reading a series about Vampires has helped with that, but you know what I mean. :)

So, I'm making it official. I'm taking a hiatus from all things bloggy for a while. I'll pop in and out as I can, but I'm seriously needing a break. Maybe just needing inspiration. Either way, I'll catch y'all around another time.

Love my readers though. You guys are the best! Love your comments too...been quiet for a while. Maybe everyone else is hibernating too.

Anyway, I'll be around, just not as much.

Love,
Sarah

Trip to the ER

I posted this on my other blogs as well, but wanted to share with you all here too.

Well, we had our first trip to the ER last week. Before you freak out, let me tell you that everyone is fine!!!

We were playing outside just before Jason was due to be home from work. Our front porch has a tiny step, about 1-2" high. Jonathan was going up and down it, and one of the times he stumbled, fell, almost caught himself, and landed on the brick garden paver. Since he's fallen down about 30,000 times (or so it seems!) I didn't think anything about it until I saw that there was blood everywhere. He had a GASH on his cheek under his eye to the right of his nose. It was about an inch long, 1/4 inch wide and deep. I took him inside calmly (pretty amazing for me huh!! :) ) and set him on the counter so I could get a better look at it. I cleaned it with wet paper towels to get off as much of the blood and debris, and then just poured water over it. There was lots of screaming and wailing and arm flailing during that bit.

I called the Ped and they said to go to the emergency room. By that time, Jason came home and as he was walking up I said "Jonathan's hurt, get him in the car while I get some things"... things meaning more snacks and water. By that time, Jonathan wasn't crying, but smiling and being silly, but we still needed to get it checked out.

We saw no less than 12 people from the steward who greated us and gave us the paperwork to fill out to the cleaning lady who waited for us to be finally checked out. All in all Jonathan saw 3 nurses, 3 doctors all of whom said he'd need stitches. We left with no stitches, thank goodness!! After the doctor cleaned and evaluated it, she said that instead of a laceration it was a deep scrape and gash. It was too far apart to even close with stitches. By that time it wasn't bleeding, and was already starting to heal. They basically cleaned it, though no better than I had done at home, and put some neosporin on it and told us to apply twice a day until it was healed, then use Mederma and sunscreen to keep scaring to a minimum.

The next day we saw that not only did he have the gash, but scrapes all over his poor little face and he had a little bit of a black eye. Facial wounds almost always look way worse than they are. Less than a week later, his scabs have almost fallen off except for the deep scrape. By the end of the week he should be scab free. Hopefully he will be scar free too.

The past two days his scabs have really started falling off, but there have been one or two that got some extra help. You know, I'm learning lately in life that God can take any thing, even ordinary things like scabs to make a point.

Looking at Jonathan's wounded, scabby cheek reminded me that we are all wounded and scabby in different ways. We've all been hurt by someone or something, we all have scabs and scars from this thing called life. Wounds, especially scrapes tend to usually heal from the outside in. They look awful for a while, get scabby, and then the scab falls away, ideally. Sometimes though the area gets infected or reinjured, setting us back on healing time. Sometimes we are impatient and pick the scab too early causing our wound to hurt and bleed again. Isn't it like that with life too? When we leave the wound alone, nature takes over and heals. Granulated tissue cells clump together to form shiny pink flesh...under the surface of the scab. If we allow God to work in our lives, in the wounded parts instead of being impatient and trying to solve the problem ourselves, we have a greater chance at healing better.

Often times we get hurt over and over in the same ways, and that causes an infection of the soul to set up...bitterness, anger, etc. We want to heal, but we can't let it go. We want to get this scab off and close up the wound, but we don't allow it to happen because we keep picking at it and don't do anything to combat the infection.

God is the ultimate healer. If we let Him do His work in His way without trying to take charge, He will heal our spiritual wounds. We may be left with a bit of a scar...a reminder of what happened and how far we've come, but a scar usually means that healing has taken place.

An Aroma Pleasing to the LORD

Thoughts from today

I'm taking the 90 Day Bible Challenge and am on day 13 today according to this schedule. The 90 Day Bible Challenge is a program to read the Bible from cover to cover in 90 days. (You don't have to do a specific plan, but just see how many pages are in your Bible from the first page of Genesis to the end of Revelation, and divide that by 90. The number you get is the number of pages you need to read to read the Bible all the way through in 90 days.) So far, I've read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and am now into Deuteronomy. Over and over again I am struck by one simple thing...God's holiness.

At first I didn't get why the Israelites had to make so many sacrifices, and why the priests had to do so many specific, complex steps just to even approach the temple. Then it hit me...it's because God is so holy that our normal, every day lives are not clean or pure enough to even be in His sight, or even be anywhere near His presence. Over and over I've read about the sacrifices, the rules and regulations, and the ways to become ceremonially unclean and clean. They seemed like a bunch of frivolous rules and regulations...something I didn't understand. After praying and talking with God about what I'd been reading I felt like He opened my eyes to something. The rules may seem super detailed and specific, and extremely complicated, but the reason is because God needed His people to understand how holy He was. By following these complex rules and guidelines for making atonement for sin and for approaching the Lord, it showed that the people understood that God is holy and that they were willing to go to great lengths to approach Him and to make atonement.

I know that Jesus breaks those Old Testament rules for making sacrifices...He IS the new rule, the new Sacrifice for approaching God, but how often do I approach Him without thinking twice about God's holiness? God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow...which means He is still just as holy as He ever was. In the passages I've read it talks about the sacrifices for atonement being "an aroma pleasing to the LORD". This phrase has stuck with me since I started the reading program. Am I an aroma pleasing to the LORD? Not my physical scent, but is my LIFE pleasing to the LORD? If it's not, I need to make atonement through Jesus before I approach the Holy One.

Something else that struck me was this: when God created man, He physically walked on the Earth with him. He conversed with man, He dwelled with man, and He interacted with man. He loved man with His whole heart. He was proud of man. And then man chose to purposefully to disobey God. After Adam and Eve were sent from the Garden of Eden the population increased until we get to Noah's time.

Genesis 6:5-8 says:
⁵ The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. ⁶ The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. ⁷ So the LORD said, "I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them." ⁸ But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.

How often do I grieve God to the point that His heart is filled with pain? How are we as a nation hurting God's heart, who made us and formed us and cared for us with love and fatherly devotion? How much are we hurting Him? I hope that He looks on our nation and finds Noahs...I hope that I find favor in His eyes, one who's life is an aroma pleasing to the LORD.

Just something to think about?

Silence

I'm sorry I haven't written for a while. To be honest, I had been pretty down lately and feeling really far away from the Lord. It seems like when I pray there's nothing...no answer, nothing. Just silence. Sunday the pastor preached on Psalms 13. I'd like to share with you a bit of what God reminded me through this sermon.

Psalms 13
¹ How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

⁴ my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Like David, I wondered how long God would be silent in the specific prayers I've been praying. Why was He ignoring me? Have you ever felt that way? That your prayers just bounced off a short ceiling? In verse 4 David talks about real life, physical enemies. Maybe for you and me it's not so much enemies in person form (though it very well could be) but enemies in the form of anger, depression, unbelief, worry, doubt, fear. In our weakness and despair our enemies shout out "I have overcome you!!!"

The past couple of weeks I've felt like I've been in a fog of uncertainty and fear. But I love what David says in verses 5 and 6. He remembers how God has never ever stopped loving him. He rejoices in that love and remembers how God has been good to him in the past.

In times like this it isn't so much that prayers are being ignored or that God has moved away. Often it comes back to me. I get too wrapped up in life and push Jesus a little farther down the ladder. He hasn't moved, it's me that has moved HIM. He's never, ever failed me. Not even once. When I don't think He's listening and all I get is silence, it's a reminder that He IS listening, He's just working behind the scenes on His plan for my life. When He's silent, it gives me an opportunity to listen even harder for that still, small voice.

The Picture of a Godly Woman

^{Taken from April 18, 2009}

<sup>Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV version)

10</sup> A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

²⁹ "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Here it is in the Message version:

Proverbs 31:10-31

^10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

What a picture of a godly woman! This woman is a high example of what we ought to be trying to attain in our personal lives as Christian women. There's no doubt that she has it together! The Proverbs 31 woman is organized, has a very strong work ethic, is well respected, is an entrepreneur, treats her husband well, is loved by her neighbors and children, and in general is just the kind of person who we all look at and say WOW!

The Proverbs 31 woman is an example for us to follow. We should try to emulate a woman of such character as this, but not be so bogged down by trying to do everything that she does. We

When I look at these verses about the woman, I see some very specific things about her life.

In regards to being a wife:
She is noble, her husband has full confidence in her, she looks for ways to be good to her husband each day instead of tearing him down, she dresses in a way that is honoring to her husband, she knows that he is highly respected in the community and respects him by her actions and attitude, she is a great mother

In regards to her work ethic:
She works with her hands without complaining, she buys healthy foods and prepares healthy meals for her family, she rises early in the morning, she cooks breakfast for her entire household, she uses her hobbies and talents to earn extra money for her family, she puts all earned money back into her family and spends it wisely on things that will be profitable to her family, she works hard on each task, she works well into the night if needed, she sews clothing for her family and makes sure they all dress neatly and tidily, she sells clothing and linens and provides other merchants with goods to sell for her, she works mainly from home using her hobbies and talents to supplement their income

In regards to her character as a woman:
She is kind to the poor and needy, she is strong and dignified, she is not afraid of the future, she is organized, she is wise and gives wise instructions and counsel to others, she makes sure that she knows everything going on in her household, she is not lazy or idle, she is active and busy, her children love her, her husband loves her and praises her often, she loves the Lord and hates evil

Abhor Evil

Taken from April 24, 2009

Romans 12:9
⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22
²¹Test everything. Hold on to the good. ²²Avoid every kind of evil.

3 John 11
¹¹Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

1 John 3:10
¹⁰This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.

Wow! What an in your face message! Hate evil. Run from it, throw it out, get rid of it. Hate it. Why? So others will know we are Christians, and so that we will be a child of God.

1 John 2:16-17 says:
¹⁶For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Another wow! Sin, desires of selfishness, the world-- all lead to death and destruction. Those who follow and trust in the Lord (doers of his will) will live forever. If I'm seeking to do God's will (not just thinking about it, but actively seeking it) then I won't want to be involved in worldly things. Abhor evil. Do good. Follow God's commandments. Do His will.